Prologue – Everyday Enlightenment
Preparation:
Stairway to the Soul
Some people go fishing all their lives
without realizing
it is not fish they are after.
—Henry David Thoreau
A Flash of Light
In 1971, I fell into the depths of despair over a woman I loved and was losing. Linda and I had been married for six years and were living in a cottage at Stanford University where we served as dormitory directors. My young wife, little older than some college seniors, has become enamored of a handsome tennis player. When he entered our cottage to speak with her, as students did on occasion, her eyes sparkled as they no longer sparkled for me. They spoke and laughed into the evening, lost in conversation.
I went to bed but slept restlessly, waiting for her to join me. I awoke at 2:00 a.m., still alone, unable to sleep any longer. In a dark, disheartened mood, I rose, threw on a shirt and pants, and walked toward the front door. They were still sitting together on the couch.
“I’m going out,” I muttered, grabbing my car keys, hoping she would show some concern, even ask him to leave. She said nothing.
Waves of rejection, worthlessness, loss, jealousy, and most of all, self-pity washed over me as I got in the car. I also felt foolish and weak. Why didn’t I tell him it was time to leave? Why didn’t I grab her and say, “Enough! This isn’t right!” But how can one control the affections of another?
In this desolate mood—the closest I had ever come to feeling suicidal—I drove aimlessly through the night, ending up in a wooded grove. I stopped the car and stared out the window at the muddy earth puddled with rain water. No reflection stared back at me, only blackness. I didn’t know where to go or what to do.
Then it happened.
My awareness suddenly shifted of its own accord. Words fail me here, but at the precise moment I could no longer stand the pain, my consciousness exploded, leaped, broke free, and I was infused with Spirit.
The pain—and this is important—hadn’t gone away. The circumstances of my marriage and my life remained the same, yet I had changed in my relation to it all. Suddenly it didn’t matter what was going on inside my mind or emotions. The hurt feelings remained, but there was no “I” to suffer them. My feelings and thoughts no longer seemed to mean anything. They had no significance, power, or influence. I was free—free of time, existing not in the moment, but as the moment. From that state of grace, that transcendent awareness extending beyond the confines of my personal feelings, needs, or desires, I thought of my wife and her friend and was overwhelmed by compassion for them both, and for all beings. No, it was beyond compassion; it was a sense of resplendent empathy, of unity. I was not separate from them, or from the trees or the stars.
Bernard Tetsugen Glassman, after an illumination experience, reported, “I laughed and I cried as I gazed at a tree. I felt the wind on me. I felt the birds on me. All separation was completely gone.” English poet Alfred Lord Tennyson once wrote: “All individuality seemed to dissolve and fade away into boundless being, and death was an almost laughable impossibility.”
And I knew exactly what they were talking about.
As I understood the truth of these words, I began to laugh. I laughed uproariously, as if life were a cosmic joke and I had just gotten the punch line. If someone had found me in the woods that night, they might have mistaken me for a crazy man. The irony was, that for the first time in my life I felt completely sane. I looked around—the night seemed filled with light, reflecting the light within me.
Eventually, the light faded and the realization passed, as all things pass. In the months and years that followed, I sought to recapture that sense of unity and divine perfection. I yearned for the light as one might long for a lover. I tried meditation and visualization, seminars, soul-searching and self-analysis. I had insights and experiences, but nothing matched that simple illumination in the forest grove.
Still, the impression of that experience served as a template of possibility and, I believe, a preview of our collective destiny. It also served as a catalyst in my life, generating within me the desire to share what I had learned. My quest began to shift from what I could get to what I could give. I knew that that ancient schools and religious traditions had devised their own methods of personal and spiritual growth, from yoga to meditation to prayer, so I traveled and read and studied, not for my own sake, but to gather gifts I could share with others. In the end, I found the answers I sought not in the temples of the East or schools of the West, but here and now, in everyday life.
The most important understanding that emerged from the illumination experience was that peak experiences fade—and that if I was to make a real difference, I would have to find a universal path, free of exclusive dogmas or cultural trappings—a way less dramatic but more lasting than my experience years before. All signs pointed me to everyday life as a spiritual path and practice—and to the twelve gateways.
In this book I use the terms personal and spiritual growth interchangeably, because personal growth evolves naturally into spiritual growth as our lower needs are satisfied and our attention rises to higher levels of awareness and experience.
Twelve Gateways to Spiritual Growth
If we never suffered pain or loss—if death did not await us—we might never need to seek a higher understanding, might never wonder about the soul, the hereafter, or the ultimate meaning of life. But life is brief—a flash of lightning, a snap of eternity’s fingers. So we question and wonder. While striving for a successful place in the material world, our path eventually leads to the arena of spiritual growth and discovery. We sometimes seek Spirit in churches, temples, or revival tents, but don’t always encounter it there. Some of us look for Spirit in a bottle or a pill, leading either to death or to life as we face our inner battles and draw upon our deepest resources. Others seek inspiration in sports or sexual relationships. Yet all the time, Spirit has been waiting for us, calling to us, right here, right now in everyday life.
A man once wrote to me, “I want to make time for more spiritual practices, but I have a wife, three kids, and a full-time job.” He hadn’t yet realized that his wife and children and work are his spiritual practice—a practice far more challenging and rewarding than sitting in a cave and meditating. I know, because I’ve done both.
For many years it had seemed to me
that my real life was about to begin,
but there was always some obstacle in the way,
until it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.
—D’Souza
Everyday life is our spiritual school, leading to education, evolution, and enlightenment. As you see your reflection more clearly in the mirror of daily life, you will come to know and accept yourself as never before. As you learn from the natural consequences of your actions, you’ll find the wisdom necessary to progress on the path of personal and spiritual growth.
As an athlete and coach, I learned to divide goals into distinct, manageable steps. First I applied this method to finding the qualities that comprise a talent for sports. Then I explored the qualities that comprise a talent for life, blending elements of psychology, ethics and values, spiritual principles, and practical wisdom. I found a complete map of the territory of personal growth and everyday enlightenment.
The premise of this book is that human evolution—whether we call it personal or spiritual growth—necessarily involves a passage through twelve gateways; like a school from which we graduate after passing twelve core subjects. Twelve seems an auspicious number. After all, there are twelve hours on a clock, twelve inches to a foot, twelve months of the year, twelve days of Christmas, twelve signs of the Zodiac, twelve-step programs, twelve labors of Hercules, twelve jurors to dispense justice, the twelve tribes of Israel, twelve gates to the City of Jerusalem, and the twelve disciples of Jesus—and in some circles, the twelve disciples is a metaphor for the twelve disciplines of life presented in this book.
Inward spiritual practices such as meditation, breathing techniques and self-analysis generate insights and enhance abilities, but none are so useful as learning to live harmoniously in a committed relationship, being a skillful parent, or juggling the demands of daily life. Spiritual practice begins on the ground, not up in the air. The twelve gateways form our stairway to the soul.
And some, like me,
are just beginning to guess
at the powerful religion of ordinary life,
a spirituality of freshly mopped floors
and stacked dishes, and clothing blowing on the line.
—Adair Lara
When people ask me abstract questions about time, or space, or reincarnation, I may respond by asking whether they exercise regularly, eat a wholesome diet, get enough sleep, show kindness to others and remember to take a slow, deep breath on occasion—because it seems important to bring our spiritual quest down to earth. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with philosophical thought. But let’s not mistake conceptual speculation for the spiritual practice of everyday life. After all, what does it serve to know whether angels wear earrings if we can’t hold a regular job or maintain a long-term relationship? What good does it do to pray like a saint or meditate like a yogi if we are unchanged when we open our eyes? What good to attend a place of worship on Saturday or Sunday if we lack compassion on Monday?
This point struck home early one morning twenty-five years ago, as I sat in peaceful meditation until my three-year old daughter Holly tugged at my pants leg, wanting my attention. I hissed angrily, “Don’t bother me! I’m meditating!” In the next instant, I realized that I had missed the entire point of spiritual practice—that picking up and hugging my daughter was a more important spiritual practice in that moment than chanting my mantra.
The Gateways’ Higher Purpose: The Liberation of Attention
Most of us experience God or Spirit (terms I use interchangeably) as a sense of inspiration. Each time we feel uplifted or inspired, we are touched by Spirit. In fact, Spirit surrounds and interpenetrates us in every moment. Spirit is always present just as the sun is always shining above the clouds. Our lack of inspiration is not the absence of Spirit in our lives, but rather, a lack of awareness. As the ancient proverb goes, “There’s God; then there’s not paying attention.”
From a conventional view, Everyday Enlightenment helps you create a more fulfilling life. The awareness generated by this book will reduce or eliminate self-sabotage, strengthen your will, lead to improved energy and health, help to create financial stability, as well as increase your compassion, perspective, and humor, leading to more loving relationships. But do you truly believe that a satisfying relationship, money in the bank, or good health are in themselves the ultimate purpose of life? Or is there something more?
I propose that the “something more” involves a unifying spiritual theme—your evolution up through the twelve gateways. Psychologist Abraham Maslow once proposed that we need to satisfy or resolve lower needs in order to address higher ones, ultimately leading toward what he called self-actualization. In other words, until we have addressed survival and safety needs, we don’t have energy or attention for higher social or spiritual concerns. As you resolve the issues of each gateway, you release attention previously bound by those issues. When attention is free, it rises like a balloon to higher levels of experience. The challenges of life remain, but your perception and awareness becomes bright and clearer.
Continued in Everyday Enlightenment
The Twelve Gateways to Spiritual Growth
Here is Dan Millman’s magnum opus — the most complete presentation of his teachings, showing how to live as a peaceful warrior — how to actually practice a more enlightened way of life. Everyday Enlightenment presents twelve “gateways” or arenas that radically redefine the meaning of success and the purpose of our lives. These twelve gateways: keys to worth, will, energy, money, mind, intuition, emotions, fear, shadow, sexuality, heart, and service, represent twelve books in one, a clear map of the territory of human potential.
Comments by Dan:
Those who have read most or all of my books know that each has a different purpose, and expresses another piece of the puzzle of personal and spiritual growth. Like the story about the five blind men who came upon an elephant and perceived a different kind of creature depending on whether they touched the elephant’s ear, tail, trunk, or leg — someone who reads The Life You Were Born to Live may see me as a “numerologist.” Someone who reads Divine Interventions or Body Mind Mastery or The Laws of Spirit will have a completely different experience.
Everyday Enlightenment provides, in a single volume, the most complete map to the major practical and spiritual challenges (and solutions) we face in everyday life. It culminates with a final chapter worth far more than the price of the book: “The Practice of Enlightenment” — a radical approach to living wisely and well.